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� ABOUT GOINGPOSTAL.DIARYLAND.COM i am not a hateful person. nor do i consider myself a racist. if you knew me in person, you would find me a very happy-golucky kind of guy. i was raised to be tolerant towards others of different race, creed, religion, sexuality, and to ALWAYS have an open-mind. so why all the hate on goingpostal.diaryland.com? each of us has a dark side, whether we want to admit it or not. for every thesis an anti-thesis exists. thus, as humans, we exist as shades of grey as a result of the black (the bad) and the white (the good) joining together. goingpostal serves as to where i can release that dark side. i can say anything i want to and not feel afraid. i have been run over and taken advantage of by many people, including my friends, in my life. i have been verbally abused and putdown in negative mean spirited ways more times than i would like to remember. this is my attempt (as pathetic as it maybe) of getting back at them in a noncombative way. i'm too soft spoken and nice to get up in people's faces. i have bouts of self-loathing and depression, feelings of contempt and hatred, and morbid sexual fantasies just like other people do. and i hate myself for them. goingpostal gives me a creative outlet ive never had before to get these emotions out in the open. i feel i can grow as a person if i do so. you may notice i have taken a liking to the film taxi driver and deniro's character in that movie. i see myself not as the gun toting psycho deniro, but as the quiet, lonely, try to be nice to everyone, reserved, deniro. you will notice a stark contrast in the pictures on this site and goingpostal. the picture of deniro here is calm and cool, while on going postal its bloody, violent, and disturbing. Hence, goingpostal serves as another personality. A personality I can't and won't ever truly have. A person who CAN stand up to other people, who CAN make a difference (be it through violence), who is not afraid to take up arms against what he sees and hates. im a damned pussy and ill admit that. but not this alter-ego ive created. so, please understand that i mean no ill will towards anyone. even the people i should truly hate, who treated me like shit, for example some former roommates of mine, i would more than likely be nice to them, shake their hands, ask them how they were doing, smile, tell some jokes, get their contact information, etc if i ever meet up with them again. yes, im that freaking nice. humility is my number one virtue. now you see why i get run over... feel free to send me hatemail if you want, but if you have any words of encouragement please send them as well. i know there are others who are sick of being run over and want to lash back at society. i want to lash back too, but i also want to forgive and move on in my journey with Christ. whats in the past is coming out. this is my therapy. maybe you will find common ground in my words (or a good chuckle). whatever you find, on goingpostal and on this site -- laughter, happyness, joy, accomplishment, artistic expression, contempt, hatred, sadness, angst -- please remember that im going to be bearing my soul to you. this is real, this is human. i hope you learn something about me, and i hope that is something special i can share with you. peace be to all & God bless, Justin
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